How ridiculous is that? Very! But sadly, in my life, sometimes it's true.
Today, as I was in Bible study with a small group of women, a question, in regards to child-like faith, was asked.
"As we become older, we become more self-sufficient. In what ways can you become more "infant-like or more dependent on God?"- Priscilla Schirer
As I thought about my dependence and my desire to be less self-sufficient and more God-dependent, I envisioned God chiseling me away, molding me, changing me into something that looks less like me and more like Him. But, being chiseled hurts. Being molded and changed is hard, especially for people like me with control issues (I'm working on that.)
My reality is that sometimes, like a toddler, I want to stay the way I am, I don't want to go through the effort and the struggle to be less like me.
Picture the difference between a newborn and a toddler. When a newborn has a poopy diaper they lay there and allow you to change them, to take the mess away and make them new and fresh.....fast forward a couple years and that same child that has a poopy diaper is now busy playing blocks and would rather not be bothered with a diaper change. The stench doesn't bother that toddler and they are totally fine sitting in their own mess.
That's how I feel at times and when I look at it like that it seems pretty ridiculous. Here's the thing, If I stay in the messy condition I am in, unwilling to be changed, not only do I develop a rash (which could be a lack of joy, peace, hard heart....) I actually start to stink up the room. My stubbornness not only affects me, but those around me and they think I smell (figuratively...well maybe sometimes literally.) The odor of stubbornness, lack of forgiveness and pity is enough to literally make one smell really funky!!
I don't know about you, but I don't want to walk around with stank in my pants. My prayer is that I would be like a baby, desiring to be changed, desiring to be made new.
"Lord, help me, mold me, change me and help me to be willing to let you. Amen!"