My Mom's Hot Pursuit!

Before I posted this, I asked my mother for permission. More moving to me than the writing of this is my mothers response. . . oh, and the printing of her response, I did NOT ask for permission for. . . . think I will ask for forgiveness later:) Please read her response following the written piece. My portion may not be very eloquent for I had actually written this in my private diary, but I felt compelled to share it with you. . .Strong language is alluded to (well for me it is).

"......You didn't grow under my heart, but in it. . . ."

I was adopted and my mom loved me with an everlasting love.

My mom pursued me to Christ, prayed me to a right walk with Him, yet her pursuit of me is nothing compared to the pursuit that Jesus has for my soul.

I remember when I was a teenager, making some really poor choices. I always thought that my mom was nuts, crazy; I didn't get it. She was on pursuit. I had the ability to bring out parts of my mom that no one could have ever imagined. My mother was disgusted with sin. Sin brought out in her a holy anger, propelled by the mandate to raise her children in the way they should go so that when they are old they will not depart from it. She was a lioness, protecting her cubs. I just didn't get it.

I didn't get why she cared where I was, who I was with, what I was doing, who I was "messing" around with. She just bothered me and got in my way.

I remember one day vividly, like it was yesterday, thank God it wasn't. I was up at my High School, my Christian High School, hanging out with my boyfriend, who by the way was a drug dealing gang member who thought it was ok to hit me. I know, I was classy and had high standards. Well, my mom came marching across the field this day and went head to head with him and said "YOU WILL NOT F*!# MY DAUGHTER!!" She then grabbed my arm and marched me, a junior in high school, home. I have to note that the only time I ever heard my mom use the F word was in dealing with me and the outright visible sinful lifestyle that I led. Nothing else got her riled up like my sin.

At that point, after my mom just verbally declared a battle for my life, all I was was thinking (and probably saying) was how embarrassed I was, how dare she come up to MY school and talk that way to MY BOYFRIEND. Plus she didn't even say it right, she is so uncool. I know there were giggles and laughter at this lady marching across the field like that, but had I known (with eyes that see) at the time what was driving her, I probably would have backed off. She was driven by something greater than herself, fully armed with the love, driven by the word of God and the Holy Spirit was paving the way.

I still to this day don't think she knew who she was going to bat with, but it didn't matter. I was her child, she was called to protect me, be wisdom for me, love me to Christ and raise me in the ways of the Lord so that when I got older, I would not depart from it. My mom, my "crazy" little mom, who wouldn't let me be. Man, I love her.

So the battle didn't end there. Many more times, I strayed. It took another 15 years after that for me to grasp the reality of who I am in Christ, where my identity lies, and that God's passion for me to walk in His ways isn't just a cute phrase, but a desire that drives Him, who created me, to pursue me unrelentingly every day to the point of sacrificing His own son, Jesus. If I thought my mom was relentless, Man oh man, she doesn't come close to the love and relentless pursuit God has on my life.

This life is not about me and what makes me happy and comfortable, this life is serious, it is the beginning of eternity. My eyes are on eternal things. And how awesome that in those eternal things, God grants a deep Joy in walking it out. God has a great command and commission. We are to go, teach, reach, and love people for Christ's sake. It's not a game. This life is serious, this walk is serious, it is eternity, life or death.

So as I now stand in my mother's shoes' raising three children, (ok, she had seven and sometimes more depending on the foster kids) I remember that pursuit. Nobody messes with my kids. It's enough that Satan is out to lie to them, steal from them and destroy their relationship with Christ. He's NOT messing around and neither am I!!

Thank You Jesus for dying on the cross, so that we all could be restored into a right relationship with the Father and be given freely the gift of eternal life. Thank you for faith in Jesus Christ and Christ alone. Thank You for Your word, God, Your true Word. You are God alone. Thank you for Your Spirit that guides. Thank You God!

MY MOM'S RESPONSE WHEN I ASKED HER FOR PERMISSION TO MAKE THIS PUBLIC. SHE IS AMAZING!

Oh, Mia ... whew! ... yes, I did know who I was going to bat with, it was the Evil One ... and if he won with you, it was going to be over my dead body. My small bible has all kinds of verses circled ... lots of markings ... from those days when I needed His comfort, wisdom, and strength from above. I felt such failure, that I had failed Him and failed you. I poured out my heart to God, for you - because I knew He loved you even more. And I loved you with all my heart. I definitely was not concerned with my popularity! I wanted to be loved by you, but if that was not to be in those years, it was not so important to me. I loved you unconditionally - and "through it all" - but that would have been hard for you to understand at that time in your life.

(I knew what we had promised God, at your baptism, and long before that. You were an incredible gift from God, dropped into our family circle like a little miracle. We weren't sure how long you were staying, but in about 2 hrs we knew we wanted it to be forever. In fact, Julie wrote a note and put it on my pillow the evening of your first day with us - saying "Mom, can she please stay with us forever and ever???" )

Until you lay me in my grave, I will forever be amazed at God's remarkable redemption and HIS unconditional love. Dad and I are thankful forever for what He did to turn your life around. He was the one 'who would not let you go"!! Then I will be in heaven praising Him forever for bountiful blessings and tender mercies beyond belief.

I don't think about those troubled days very often - I really don't care to go there as 'the slate is wiped clean', praise God. Often Dad and I will marvel at the joy you have brought us, and the blessing you are as a godly wife and mother ... loving Bob and being wonderfully loved by him, and raising 3 precious gifts from God 'in the way they should go'. No wonder you can write your music, over and over pouring out your praises to our Awesome God.

Yes, you may do with your blog what you wish. I have no secrets from my Lord, or any one else, and what others might think of any of this, it simply doesn't matter to me. You not only write wonderful music, Mia, you also have the gift of writing (and speaking) from your heart of love and thanksgiving, to reach and help others in their walk towards eternity. I really have to find another word for my vocabulary besides AMAZED !!!

Mercy

I stand here this day thinking to myself, "I know God is real." So many ways He has revealed himself to me and to this world, but this day in my heart I giggle in a joyful response to His mercy over me.


Today as of 9am, I have swept the floors, wiped out a few toilets, started the laundry, emptied and loaded the dishwasher, made the lunches, begun to prepare in my mind what I will make for dinner, vacuumed the rugs, brushed the dog, gone for my walk, did my crunches and push ups, Praised the Lord, talked to my Savior, practiced my memory verses and a few other daily things that I do. Yet, it was during the time of sweeping the floors that I became overwhelmed at what an amazing life I have.

I am so honored and humbled to be Mr. Koehne's wife and the mother of his children. I am so honored to sweep the floors and clean this house (that is a miracle that we could even buy) so that when they return they have a place to relax and call home. I am so honored to cook for my husband after he has had a long day at work. I thought to myself, "It just doesn't get any better than this."

I think abut the life I have lived. A greater percentage of my life was lived for me as evidenced by many of the choices I had made(Thank You Lord for Your mercy!) I think about the the things in my past that I saw as priorities that were so far from God's priorities for me in my life. I think about the fact that I am so undeserving of all that I have been given eternally and temporarily. BUT GOD. . . WOW! He has given me so much more than I or any of us deserve. Through His son, Jesus, sacrificing His own life so that we could be forgiven, loved, redeemed and given eternal life. . . . .WOW!

Because of what Jesus did on the cross and then in the grave, being raised from death, I now walk in grace, I now serve in humility, I now find joy in cleaning, cooking, scrubbing toilets for the glory of God in this ministry to my family.

No, it just doesn't get any better for me.

Colossians 3:23-24~Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.

Being Blown Away

My 14 year old daughter, my precious little girl, has been attending a girls Bible study that she found out about and joined without any parental promptings. . .THANK YOU LORD!

Yesterday she said, "Mom, Bible study was so great, we studied John 1." I said, "Did you talk about in the beginning was the word?" And she proceeded to tell me they had and how she was trying to get it in her brain and understand that God always was and wasn't created. She was having glorious trouble grasping this. I validated her struggle with my own. The times when I sit and try to grasp the thought that He always was, no beginning and no end, it's then that my mind starts to hurt and I feel like it will explode. I told her that no mind can conceive it all.

So, we just smiled and marveled together at the beautiful complexity and the mind blowing simplicity of it all. God IS. To rest in that soothes my soul, my mind, and reminds me that THIS God, the one true God, who was there always, has got and has fully grasped little old me in His mind.

We are more precious to Him than rubies, rare rubies who have a greater earthly value in their imperfections and when hit with the proper light source in just the right way, these flaws add value. So, my God, who is my source of light shines on my imperfections and makes me glorious in His eyes.

I praise this Mind blowing God. Blow us away today Lord, Blow us away!

In the beginning was the Word, and the word was with God, and the word was God.
John 1:1

Beautiful in Haiti

Mia & Rachel in Haiti 2009

I am moved to the point of tears this morning as God allowed me to pray with and for one of my dearest friends, Rachel, as she counts down the hours until she moves to Haiti. Yes, we are across the country from each other, but thinking of her in another country is a whole different kind of "missin" of her that I will do.

What fills me now is the hope, the expectant hope of what is to come. I know that God has amazing things in store as she goes to literally be His hands and feet.

I love her so and I love that the Lord joins us with people to walk this life with and then sends us out to do life with and for others. What an amazing God we have.

Please check out her blog, support her and the ministry in prayer, and if so moved support her financially. http://livinghaiti.blogspot.com/


Proverbs 18:24

A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Busted!

This is the change that I took from the store yesterday by accident. It was in the coin dispenser with my change. I think the person before me forgot to take it.

By the time I realized I had to much change, I was at my car and didn't really feel like turning back, but I knew I should have.

Well, short story made long, I felt so guilty this morning that I had to take it back to the store today. So glad I did. I know that .60 cents doesn't seem like a lot, but 60 vs. being a disobedient child of God when He clearly tells you this is not yours is so not worth it. I don't like guilt. I like truth!

I tried to rationalize the extra change as a "blessing" from God, but He wasn't having that. I tried to tell him, I will give it as an offering. He wasn't going for that either. I told Him, I would return it and so I did!

My basic motive is this. I don't want anything that the Lord does not want me to have. If it's not from Him, I don't want it. And I really don't think He wanted what I clearly knew wasn't mine to be given in his offering plate. I find it funny how easily I can rationalize what I have even when I know it's not mine. And before God too, like He can't see through me!

There are many things in our lives, even little things that don't seem like a big deal, BUT to God they mean everything. The little habits that we think no one will notice. The things we hold onto even though we know God sees. Practices in our lives that might not necessarily be bad, but just not what the Lord wants for us. The spare change things in our life that God simply wants us to return and be rid of even if no one notices.

Lord, thank you for being a God of 200,000,000 chances. You forgive so freely, You speak so clearly, You instruct, curb and guide so fairly. Help us to follow you and listen to you as we walk though this life, making mistakes, but knowing that you are slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. Thank you Lord for dealing with me. I love you.

Spitting Chunks (I'm very classy today)

I am NOT a Bible scholar, a great Biblical teacher, BUT I love the Lord and I LOOOOVE His word. I am a theologian. I study it, I chew on it, I soak it up, I meditate on it, I listen to it, I hear it, I speak it and I crave it. I simply love His word. It is life to me. I wish I had it all memorized, every word of it buried in my heart to spew out at any moment. Until then, I chew on the parts before me and spit those chunks out (my apologies for the eloquent visuals today).

I was sitting here this past moment rejoicing at a call to prayer I received and immediately His words from Chronicles came jumping out of my heart, only I had one word wrong as I recited it in prayer. I said "When", but the bible said "if".

2 Chronicles 7:14
If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

What an amazing word from God, what a great promise He makes to us. I began to think about the difference between "When my people" and "If my people" pray means. I'll tell you right now, I have no answer, at least not one that I can intelligently express. But the word when, would say to me "I know you are gonna do this, it's just a matter of time" and the word if, says to me "You know, it's up to you. You can continue in your ways and I'll hand you over, BUT if you choose to ask me for help and stop doing what your doing, I have great things in store."

What are your thoughts? I'm just chewing for the rest of the day. I'm gonna chew on His words, even the little ones! God, open the flood gates and let your word rain on down. Speak to us Lord!!!!

Dirty Toilets

Oh Facebook. . . I have a love-hate relationship with Facebook. I love that I can keep in contact with so many friends. I love seeing the pictures, catching up and knowing what's going on. But the time it takes to "keep up" with my 247 friends (and a few still pending) takes a lot of time. Yet, I find my self drawn to read their updates, post of few of my own and encourage a few along the way.

A recent post of a friend begged the question of why are there so many nooks at the bottom of the toilet and wondered what company thought we really wanted to scrub down there. Good point! How many times have we all strained our backs trying to get all the crud out.

Well, my response was this. . . "I think the Lord designed it to get us on our knees. So while I'm down there I'm reminded of my posture before an Almighty God. However in glory, I hope I'm not scrubbing nooks. But, in the meantime take it as a reminder to go before the Lord on your knees with all the crud in your life and when you rise up remember how shinny and clean you are before the Lord"

I truly find no joy in scrubbing and cleaning toilets, but for me there is nothing like getting the job done, stepping back and looking at a clean sparkling bathroom, even if it only lasts for about 2 minutes.

And there is nothing better than falling before the Lord, literally on my knees face down pouring out my soul to him, knowing that each time that I rise before the Lord, I stand forgiven. I stand forgiven even before I fall down, but the joy of rising new each day, each moment is sometimes so overwhelming to me.

I'm reminded again of David in 2 Samuel 7:18 Then King David went in and sat before the Lord, and he said. . ."Who am I, o Sovereign Lord, and what is my family that you have brought me this far. . . Is this Your usual way of dealing with man, O Sovereign Lord?

What I love so deeply about that is the translation of the word sat. It is a sitting, a sort of falling back in wonder and amazement. It is a posture of awe and wonder at what an Amazing, God we have.

May we take that posture not only in our heart and minds, but in our physical body also. May we fall face down before the One True Almighty God. May we sit back in wonder and awe at how our Lord deals with us. He is God, He is Lord, He is Worthy of all that we can offer because of all that He first offered us.

I love to simply pour out all that He has poured into me to begin with. Pour it out brothers and sister. . .

This is my prayer in the harvest
Where favour and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be emptied again
The seed I've received I will sow~Brooke Fraser