Wednesday, September 29, 2010

My Mom's Hot Pursuit!

Before I posted this, I asked my mother for permission. More moving to me than the writing of this is my mothers response. . . oh, and the printing of her response, I did NOT ask for permission for. . . . think I will ask for forgiveness later:) Please read her response following the written piece. My portion may not be very eloquent for I had actually written this in my private diary, but I felt compelled to share it with you. . .Strong language is alluded to (well for me it is).

"......You didn't grow under my heart, but in it. . . ."

I was adopted and my mom loved me with an everlasting love.
My mom pursued me to Christ, prayed me to a right walk with Him, yet her pursuit of me is nothing compared to the pursuit that Jesus has for my soul.

I remember when I was a teenager, making some really poor choices. I always thought that my mom was nuts, crazy; I didn't get it. She was on pursuit. I had the ability to bring out parts of my mom that no one could have ever imagined. My mother was disgusted with sin. Sin brought out in her a holy anger, propelled by the mandate to raise her children in the way they should go so that when they are old they will not depart from it. She was a lioness, protecting her cubs. I just didn't get it.

I didn't get why she cared where I was, who I was with, what I was doing, who I was "messing" around with. She just bothered me and got in my way.

I remember one day vividly, like it was yesterday, thank God it wasn't. I was up at my High School, my Christian High School, hanging out with my boyfriend, who by the way was a drug dealing gang member who thought it was ok to hit me. I know, I was classy and had high standards. Well, my mom came marching across the field this day and went head to head with him and said "YOU WILL NOT F*!# MY DAUGHTER!!" She then grabbed my arm and marched me, a junior in high school, home. I have to note that the only time I ever heard my mom use the F word was in dealing with me and the outright visible sinful lifestyle that I led. Nothing else got her riled up like my sin.

At that point, after my mom just verbally declared a battle for my life, all I was was thinking (and probably saying) was how embarrassed I was, how dare she come up to MY school and talk that way to MY BOYFRIEND. Plus she didn't even say it right, she is so uncool. I know there were giggles and laughter at this lady marching across the field like that, but had I known (with eyes that see) at the time what was driving her, I probably would have backed off. She was driven by something greater than herself, fully armed with the love, driven by the word of God and the Holy Spirit was paving the way.

I still to this day don't think she knew who she was going to bat with, but it didn't matter. I was her child, she was called to protect me, be wisdom for me, love me to Christ and raise me in the ways of the Lord so that when I got older, I would not depart from it. My mom, my "crazy" little mom, who wouldn't let me be. Man, I love her.

So the battle didn't end there. Many more times, I strayed. It took another 15 years after that for me to grasp the reality of who I am in Christ, where my identity lies, and that God's passion for me to walk in His ways isn't just a cute phrase, but a desire that drives Him, who created me, to pursue me unrelentingly every day to the point of sacrificing His own son, Jesus. If I thought my mom was relentless, Man oh man, she doesn't come close to the love and relentless pursuit God has on my life.

This life is not about me and what makes me happy and comfortable, this life is serious, it is the beginning of eternity. My eyes are on eternal things. And how awesome that in those eternal things, God grants a deep Joy in walking it out. God has a great command and commission. We are to go, teach, reach, and love people for Christ's sake. It's not a game. This life is serious, this walk is serious, it is eternity, life or death.

So as I now stand in my mother's shoes' raising three children, (ok, she had seven and sometimes more depending on the foster kids) I remember that pursuit. Nobody messes with my kids. It's enough that Satan is out to lie to them, steal from them and destroy their relationship with Christ. He's NOT messing around and neither am I!!

Thank You Jesus for dying on the cross, so that we all could be restored into a right relationship with the Father and be given freely the gift of eternal life. Thank you for faith in Jesus Christ and Christ alone. Thank You for Your word, God, Your true Word. You are God alone. Thank you for Your Spirit that guides. Thank You God!


Oh, Mia ... whew! ... yes, I did know who I was going to bat with, it was the Evil One ... and if he won with you, it was going to be over my dead body. My small bible has all kinds of verses circled ... lots of markings ... from those days when I needed His comfort, wisdom, and strength from above. I felt such failure, that I had failed Him and failed you. I poured out my heart to God, for you - because I knew He loved you even more. And I loved you with all my heart. I definitely was not concerned with my popularity! I wanted to be loved by you, but if that was not to be in those years, it was not so important to me. I loved you unconditionally - and "through it all" - but that would have been hard for you to understand at that time in your life.

(I knew what we had promised God, at your baptism, and long before that. You were an incredible gift from God, dropped into our family circle like a little miracle. We weren't sure how long you were staying, but in about 2 hrs we knew we wanted it to be forever. In fact, Julie wrote a note and put it on my pillow the evening of your first day with us - saying "Mom, can she please stay with us forever and ever???" )

Until you lay me in my grave, I will forever be amazed at God's remarkable redemption and HIS unconditional love. Dad and I are thankful forever for what He did to turn your life around. He was the one 'who would not let you go"!! Then I will be in heaven praising Him forever for bountiful blessings and tender mercies beyond belief.

I don't think about those troubled days very often - I really don't care to go there as 'the slate is wiped clean', praise God. Often Dad and I will marvel at the joy you have brought us, and the blessing you are as a godly wife and mother ... loving Bob and being wonderfully loved by him, and raising 3 precious gifts from God 'in the way they should go'. No wonder you can write your music, over and over pouring out your praises to our Awesome God.

Yes, you may do with your blog what you wish. I have no secrets from my Lord, or any one else, and what others might think of any of this, it simply doesn't matter to me. You not only write wonderful music, Mia, you also have the gift of writing (and speaking) from your heart of love and thanksgiving, to reach and help others in their walk towards eternity. I really have to find another word for my vocabulary besides AMAZED !!!

Monday, September 27, 2010


I stand here this day thinking to myself, "I know God is real." So many ways He has revealed himself to me and to this world, but this day in my heart I giggle in a joyful response to His mercy over me.

Today as of 9am, I have swept the floors, wiped out a few toilets, started the laundry, emptied and loaded the dishwasher, made the lunches, begun to prepare in my mind what I will make for dinner, vacuumed the rugs, brushed the dog, gone for my walk, did my crunches and push ups, Praised the Lord, talked to my Savior, practiced my memory verses and a few other daily things that I do. Yet, it was during the time of sweeping the floors that I became overwhelmed at what an amazing life I have.

I am so honored and humbled to be Mr. Koehne's wife and the mother of his children. I am so honored to sweep the floors and clean this house (that is a miracle that we could even buy) so that when they return they have a place to relax and call home. I am so honored to cook for my husband after he has had a long day at work. I thought to myself, "It just doesn't get any better than this."

I think abut the life I have lived. A greater percentage of my life was lived for me as evidenced by many of the choices I had made(Thank You Lord for Your mercy!) I think about the the things in my past that I saw as priorities that were so far from God's priorities for me in my life. I think about the fact that I am so undeserving of all that I have been given eternally and temporarily. BUT GOD. . . WOW! He has given me so much more than I or any of us deserve. Through His son, Jesus, sacrificing His own life so that we could be forgiven, loved, redeemed and given eternal life. . . . .WOW!

Because of what Jesus did on the cross and then in the grave, being raised from death, I now walk in grace, I now serve in humility, I now find joy in cleaning, cooking, scrubbing toilets for the glory of God in this ministry to my family.

No, it just doesn't get any better for me.

Colossians 3:23-24~Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Being Blown Away

My 14 year old daughter, my precious little girl, has been attending a girls Bible study that she found out about and joined without any parental promptings. . .THANK YOU LORD!

Yesterday she said, "Mom, Bible study was so great, we studied John 1." I said, "Did you talk about in the beginning was the word?" And she proceeded to tell me they had and how she was trying to get it in her brain and understand that God always was and wasn't created. She was having glorious trouble grasping this. I validated her struggle with my own. The times when I sit and try to grasp the thought that He always was, no beginning and no end, it's then that my mind starts to hurt and I feel like it will explode. I told her that no mind can conceive it all.

So, we just smiled and marveled together at the beautiful complexity and the mind blowing simplicity of it all. God IS. To rest in that soothes my soul, my mind, and reminds me that THIS God, the one true God, who was there always, has got and has fully grasped little old me in His mind.

We are more precious to Him than rubies, rare rubies who have a greater earthly value in their imperfections and when hit with the proper light source in just the right way, these flaws add value. So, my God, who is my source of light shines on my imperfections and makes me glorious in His eyes.

I praise this Mind blowing God. Blow us away today Lord, Blow us away!

In the beginning was the Word, and the word was with God, and the word was God.
John 1:1

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Beautiful in Haiti

Mia & Rachel in Haiti 2009

I am moved to the point of tears this morning as God allowed me to pray with and for one of my dearest friends, Rachel, as she counts down the hours until she moves to Haiti. Yes, we are across the country from each other, but thinking of her in another country is a whole different kind of "missin" of her that I will do.

What fills me now is the hope, the expectant hope of what is to come. I know that God has amazing things in store as she goes to literally be His hands and feet.

I love her so and I love that the Lord joins us with people to walk this life with and then sends us out to do life with and for others. What an amazing God we have.

Please check out her blog, support her and the ministry in prayer, and if so moved support her financially.

Proverbs 18:24
A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010


This is the change that I took from the store yesterday by accident. It was in the coin dispenser with my change. I think the person before me forgot to take it.

By the time I realized I had to much change, I was at my car and didn't really feel like turning back, but I knew I should have.

Well, short story made long, I felt so guilty this morning that I had to take it back to the store today. So glad I did. I know that .60 cents doesn't seem like a lot, but 60 vs. being a disobedient child of God when He clearly tells you this is not yours is so not worth it. I don't like guilt. I like truth!

I tried to rationalize the extra change as a "blessing" from God, but He wasn't having that. I tried to tell him, I will give it as an offering. He wasn't going for that either. I told Him, I would return it and so I did!

My basic motive is this. I don't want anything that the Lord does not want me to have. If it's not from Him, I don't want it. And I really don't think He wanted what I clearly knew wasn't mine to be given in his offering plate. I find it funny how easily I can rationalize what I have even when I know it's not mine. And before God too, like He can't see through me!

There are many things in our lives, even little things that don't seem like a big deal, BUT to God they mean everything. The little habits that we think no one will notice. The things we hold onto even though we know God sees. Practices in our lives that might not necessarily be bad, but just not what the Lord wants for us. The spare change things in our life that God simply wants us to return and be rid of even if no one notices.

Lord, thank you for being a God of 200,000,000 chances. You forgive so freely, You speak so clearly, You instruct, curb and guide so fairly. Help us to follow you and listen to you as we walk though this life, making mistakes, but knowing that you are slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. Thank you Lord for dealing with me. I love you.