Rumors-My Heart on the Chopping Block

As I sat down to write this blog, I had a completely different focus until my fingers hit the keyboard. I was going to share a funny little take on rumors that I thought would encourage you, but instead, I find myself standing in a place of tension. On one side, I hear a whisper of what I am to write and on the other side, I hear my flesh saying "Don't share that, it's one of the secrets that no one knows, the one you have kept hidden for so long.

Yet, as I sit here, I wonder......I wonder if anyone else feels this way...so I write.

Before we jump in, here was my original post. "I heard a rumor, God can do all things" and then I was going to tell you how some rumors are true and aren't we glad this one is, but instead, a shift happened and this is where we are left. Rumors... they have the power.

It is no secret that I was very reckless in my past, emotionally, physically and sexually. But, there are vivid moments in my life that I remember as turning points. Today, I am going to share one of those pivotal moments with you.

As a senior in high school, I sat confidently at the chemistry lab table talking with friends, minding my own business and doing my work. Then, I heard the whispers. I saw the way the girls looked at me and I found the note that someone had written. I remember it like it was yesterday. It said what a slut Mia was. It listed the names of certain boys that I had sex with and all the things I had done with them and it labeled me a whore.

That note crushed me. That note wrongly confirmed all the things I believed about myself. The only thing was.....I WAS a virgin. Now I am not saying I was holier than thou, I repeatedly put myself in situations that allowed boys to make up stories about me, but what I did know is that the words in that note were not true, but still, I allowed it to speak to me. I allowed it to change me.

I remember at that moment giving up. I consciously decided to not try anymore and just become wholeheartedly what everyone else already believed about me. I allowed it to become my truth and I set out to act on my new identity.

I turned into what they said I was. And for lack of better words, I was "on a roll" and I didn't know how to stop. I remember keeping track of all the men I had been with, writing their names in a secret place in the corner of my closet wall, clinging to a (false) truth that a "real whore" wouldn't know how many men she had slept with, but this too became tangled and hard to manage and I would spend years sinking down into a false identity, self destruction, unplanned pregnancy and adultery.

Now, I share all of that (even though I didn't want to) not to say that all because of that one note, I became the way I was....and to be honest, I don't know why I am sharing this at all.

But maybe, if we realize that the words we say have the power to build up and also destroy, we will be a bit more attentive as to what comes out of our mouths and more importantly what is in our hearts. Maybe, we will realize that rumors, gossip and slander, can really hurt the spirit of a person. Maybe we will even realize that rumors (most of the time) are not even true. And maybe, just maybe, we will realize how powerful we truly are.

"Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits." 

Proverbs 18:21

Or perhaps, we will realize that rumors DO NOT define us. Perhaps someone will be reminded that no matter what the world says about them, God speaks a truth into us that can not be tangled, distorted or disproved. Perhaps we will realize that sometimes people are just mean, but God is good.

Maybe, my friend, (who this is specifically for) you too will realize, 

as I now realize, that "I am who the Great I AM says I am!"

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come." 2 Corinthians 5:17 

 "I am fearfully and wonderfully made." Psalm 139:14

I sign off, with a rock in my stomach, nervous to post this, but more nervous not to.

I love you in the Lord!

Mia

My sweet friend Rachel Barrentine sings it perfectly. Take a listen HERE: SAYS I AM

I'll show you!!

I remember my first visit to Haiti in 2009. I was with a dedicated group of missionaries who already loved the country and it's people. Little did I know at the time that I would leave pieces of my heart there which would call me back and call me to prayer for all those that I met.

On our way to church that first week, I was informed that it was customary to give an offering. Well, the offering was someone sharing a word or song and I was "volunteered" to be the offering. I was nervous, I was scared. I didn't know why. Maybe the feeling of being completely overwhelmed by all I had seen over the past few days, being in a culture that was so different from mine, singing in what was to the people of Haiti, a foreign language to a people I did not know.....the fact was I was just plain terrified.

The trip to the church found me praying relentlessly for God to take my fear away. Out of nowhere, I spotted a truck and painted on it was this... JER 1:17. I knew that it was for me. So, when I arrived at the church I read the passage and this is what God had for me.

“Get yourself ready! Stand up and say to them whatever I command you. Do not be terrified by them, or I will terrify you before them." Jeremiah 1:17

Being a quite rebellious person by nature, God knows what I need to hear and how I need to hear it. I needed to be told..."DON'T BE SCARED OR I'LL SHOW YOU SCARED!"

I got the picture and God did what He always does through obedience. He used me for His glory.

Maybe you grew up in a family or with a parent (or maybe it's you) that used this line. "Don't cry or I'll give you a reason to cry!" Not saying it's the best line, but maybe, just maybe it's a bit biblical? The great thing is that God says it with perfect love SO THAT we will do the good thing that He commands us to do. He goes on to say that as we stand and speak without fear that He has made us strong, that the enemy will fight us, but NOT overcome us BECAUSE God will rescue us. 

Now that is comfort to me. Comfort and encouragement to not be afraid (or else) knowing that God has my back. If He is for me who is against, tell me, WHO?....... NO ONE & NOTHING!!

So, my friends, today, I say to you (and me)......

“Get yourself ready! Stand up and say to them whatever I command you. Do not be terrified by them, or I will terrify you before them. 18 Today I have made you a fortified city, an iron pillar and a bronze wall to stand against the whole land—against the kings of Judah, its officials, its priests and the people of the land. 19 They will fight against you but will not overcome you, for I am with you and will rescue you,” declares the Lord. Jeremiah 1:17-9

I have Two Elbows

I have two elbows and chances are that you do to. Let me tell you a little about my elbows......

Recently I was on a photo shoot with a friend and brother in Christ that I admire. No matter what, I can always count on him. For instance, I was suppose to meet with a photographer early one morning and because of certain circumstances he had to cancel 60 minutes after we were suppose to start. Well, I was showered, dressed, make up on and hair done. I was still good to go! Naturally, not wanting to waste a good hair day, I called my buddy, Randy, and he packed up his gear, scouted out areas with me and we shot at four locations.

At the last location he asked if I had any CD's to give to the people whose space and property we LITERALLY invaded (in fact we did that at all three sites, but that's how we roll) and I said "No, I don't have any, I normally have them, but....." As I continued to explain to him the reason He said "Mia, those are just excuses. Excuses are like elbows everybody's got two of 'em." That shut me up. He was right. I was unprepared. For all the times I pack my CD's just in case I have an opportunity to share them with someone, I failed. I was NOT prepared and what I needed to do was NOT make excuses.

But, now, every-time I walk out of the house I think a bit more quickly to myself about grabbing some spare CD's in case the lady at the grocery store tells me she likes music and I am able to just give her a CD. When people speak the truth to me, I may pout my lip for a moment, but my heart hears, receives and becomes all the wiser and more aware.

Some people thrive on affirmation, I thrive on loving reproof. I thrive on people pointing out my weaknesses so I can be better. Several years ago I was at a place in my life, music and ministry where I desired so deeply to have someone who would just tell me the truth and stop telling me everything I did was good. By the grace of God, He sent those people in my life...... people that recognized I needed help, guidance, direction, honest feedback and a swift kick in the butt.

Some of it came from my friend, Mark, who is a gifted songwriter. He saw that I needed stronger songs to sing. And so He allowed me to sing my heart through his music. He offered to work with me on songs I was writing to make them better. My ministry needed someone like him and I am so grateful.

Some of it came from my producer who worked with me on the last two Tree Hill Collective Recordings. OK, he may have made me cry, but that's mostly because He speaks so much truth, pushes me harder than I have ever been pushed, challenges me on the words and notes that I sing and does not let me slack. He tells me to deal and accept certain things and face others things head on. He does not let me cower.

I thrive on that. Last week as I was leading worship at a church. I could hear His voice in my head "Why are you singing that song" "What does that mean" "Who are you singing to" "You sound like you don't care" "Did you just belch in the microphone?" Having him speak truth in my life challenges me everyday to stay focused on why I do what I do and who I am doing it for. It keeps my eyes fixed on Jesus the author and perfector.

I am a better worship leader, piano player, singer, writer and leader because of what the people in my life have dared to do for me....speaking truth in love, the hard not so fun truth. I love it. I need it. Do I accept it easily all the time? No, sometimes I pout my lip, sometimes I walk out, sometimes I cry, (my husband, Bob, knows this best as He is my biggest truth-giver) but just about every time, I come back a whole lot stronger and a whole lot wiser than I was when I first started.

For that I thank these brothers in Christ. I could not walk this road without you!

So it leads me to this. If I appreciate truth so much and the fact that people dare to give it to me, am I loving people the same way by speaking truth to them? For me the answer lately has been yes, but it has been hard. And when it is difficult, I just remember how much I desire truth and desire to do the same for others as God leads me. #LoveGodLoveOthers

Who loves you in truth and who are you loving the same way?