"But, I don't want to pray"

It is sometimes easy and always a joy for me to write blog entries of what God is doing in my life, the joys I see in others and the encouraging truths He reveals.

Today is not one of those days. Today is the day that I typically don't write about because it doesn't make me look very good, but today I think I need to.

I always tell people how imperfect I am. We all are right? But sometimes we (and by we, I mean, I) don't showcase our real imperfections, our secret struggles because people might really know who we are and who wants to do that...to really do that. But I have learned repeatedly that it takes to much energy to pretend to be something that I am not, so here goes!

There is a sweet lady that I knew growing up, her name is Mary. She really is "perfect as the Heavenly Father is perfect" (Matthew 5:48). OK, obviously she is not and she would probably give you a list of her sinful flaws, none of which I would believe except for the fact that no one is perfect on this side of heaven.

Enough of me avoiding the point of my sin. As I was reading in Matthew 5 today, the heading for verses 43-48 said "Love Your Enemies." I read it as I have read it before saying of course I will pray for my enemies, for those who are against me (Yes, I have a few.) Yes, Lord I will pray for those that don't like me, I will pray for them, my enemies, that's easy! Maybe I'll just pray that they like me and we'll all be good, right?

God did not let me slide through these verses today. He stopped me and said, "No, YOUR enemies, the ones that YOU are against, the ones that you dislike, the ones that make your stomach turn, the ones that slander rolls so easily off your tongue about....THOSE enemies!" To which I quickly replied "I don't want to pray for THEM!" (There are so many times that my birth order reveals itself in my conversations with the Lord. Yes, I am the baby of seven.)

As I sat there with my Bible and my pouty lip, knowing what the Word said, knowing what God revealed to me, I had a choice. I could refuse to pray for them, I could pretend pray, or I could ask the Spirit of God to guide my words.

Today, this was a tough one to swallow. I have learned my lessons the hard way about disobeying the Lord, especially when He speaks to me and makes it crystal clear. So, I asked the Spirit to guide my words and I began to pray blessings on my enemies, those two people that I just don't like. God gave the words as my stomach literally turned to the point that I wanted to throw up. I guess I felt a little like Noah, not even wanting these people to be blessed. At the end of it, God showed me that it's gonna be difficult, it's not always fun, but as I release these people from the wrong I "feel" that have done to me, He will bless them and He will bless my heart with a peace that I will not even be able to understand.

So, now, I sit hear...heavy hearted and a little bit teary, because I know the battle that rages in my heart as I learn to forgive people who probably have very little clue the bitterness I have towards them.

While I may not be outright mean to these people, I may not even cross paths that often with them, for me, the danger is deeper, because it's a bitter-root in my heart and it pops up at the most unpredictable times.

Yesterday, God laid two beautiful women on my heart to pray for...that was easy, THAT was a joy. Today, God called me to pray again, but for my enemies, That's NOT easy, But God's strength is perfect and I know that as I pray His will, He WILL change my heart. That's a JOY.

I am humbled. I surrender. LOVE WINS!

Love Your Enemies

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

Living the Life......in Christ!

What vocation are you in? 

Jesus at His baptism entered the vocation of "Bearing away the sins of the World." 

May we be encouraged in our calling knowing that Christ has equipped us with all that we need because of the vocation that He filled flawlessly. 

Live the Life~Live it Loud

Share what God has called you to do and how He is equipping you.

I would love to hear!

The Buzzings in My Head

I don't have the answers, but I always have a lot of questions. So if you are curious about what's rumbling around in my head and heart today, here goes!

I have, for years, struggled with Trust. Then, when I think I have it curbed, I go through the 12 steps and see how far I have to go. God is always working to grow me in this area, particularly in the area of trusting others.

So, if my heart cry is to trust God more, how does that translate into trusting other people? Is it a cop out to say I trust God, just not people.... probably!

How do I learn when to trust others after having confidentialities broken repeatedly and simply want to trust God alone with my secrets and heart cries?

What does TRUST really look like in my life? Where is that line when I lack trust in God and put more trust in my own abilities. My prayer there is that God would reveal those areas in my life quickly.

Well, that's just what is swimming around today. What I do know is that God if faithful in all areas of my life and the lives of those who TRUST in Him.

So I trust the Lord and at the same time ask Him to help me with my lack of it.  

One day I will strive no more, but until then, I count it all joy to be refined through the fire.

What area does God repeatedly refine in you? 

S.L.U.T. Whaaaaat?

As I was driving to a women's event tonight that I was singing and speaking at, I spent time praying, going over my set list in my head and talking through my testimony. Thinking about my testimony and all the patterns of living that God had redeemed me from, I said to the Lord "Man, I used to be such a whore, such a slut. If people really knew how bad and lost I was would they really want to listen to anything I had to say?"......to which God always replies "Yes, it is in your weakness that I am strong. I have redeemed it all, now go and tell people how forgiving and strong I AM!"

It was a short conversation. But then He said to me "You know, Mia, you really WERE a slut." Through that whisper He showed me what a slut really was.... what I really was....and what I am no more. It wasn't about the guys or the partying; the drinking or the sneaking around behind my families back, no, it was about one thing. Then he gave me this acronym and opened my eyes to the truth. He said you were Someone Longing to Understand the Treasure that you were.

It all made sense. Because of my misconceptions of who I was, the lack of believing the truth that I was dearly loved and forgiven, I went on a search for anything to fill the hole that I felt was in my life as I longed to understand the treasure. Little did I know, so many years ago, that the answer was found in Jesus and Jesus alone!

I am no longer a bad S.L.U.T but a good S.L.U.T
I am now Someone Living in the Understanding of the Treasure

PS. There's nothing like worship leading, sharing your testimony and coming right out to a group of women that you don't know and telling them I used to be a SLUT!  Come to find out there were a lot of us there who now stand redeemed living under a new understanding. Thank Be To God!!


II Corinthians 4:7-10
But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.

**Please pray as I dig deeper into the S.L.U.T theme and share and teach from God's Word on this subject.

Hanging in the Hallway

This picture reminds me of a period in my life about three years ago.

God told me to prepare my music, assemble a band and practice. That meant a lot of practicing in the "hallway" until he opened the door. At times it got frustrating, at times it caused others to not want to hang in for the long haul.

Yet, God told me to continue to practice, to continue to prepare. I didn't understand it. As I talked with a good friend, she asked me, "What if God never opens the door, will you continue to prepare?"

My answer and what kept me going was my reply of "yes." 

Maybe what God wanted from me was to worship him in my "hallway", maybe He wanted to use the hallway as my final destination or maybe He wanted me to be still until things were prepared for me to exit.

Regardless, my answer was to remain in the hallway...in my living room until He told me to wait no more.

What I didn't see, what I could not have imagined was what was on the other side of that door. He did open the door, I did walk through and God blew my mind. 

Even if he never opens another door for me, I will remain in this hallway worshiping Him, praising Him and thanking Him for who He is regardless.

Don't Forget to Flush

There really are not enough words or exclamation points to adequately express how excited I am today!!!! As much as I want to break my Facebook addiction (everything in moderation), there is something awesome in the way it allows us to track down just about anybody from our past (sometimes that's a blessing...sometimes it's a curse.)

Today, it was a blessing!

I have not talked to this gal, Shannon (the white girl in the picture who played the black street smart girl way better than I did in this production, lol) since November of 1998 when we did the show "Little Shop of Horrors" together. I am so grateful and a bit overwhelmed with joy to have been able to talk and share with her the impact she made on my life.

During the run of this show, when I was living in complete disobedience, she was the only one who knew about my sin. She had the courage to tell me I was wrong, that I needed to repent and the decency to speak truth to me as an ambassador for Christ all while extending her love and friendship. A great example of speaking the truth in love!

In a day when so many are scared to speak truth, this spunky, lover of Jesus, showed no fear in confronting my sin. That seed, her voice, rang in my heart for YEARS. Every time I share my testimony, still to this day, I remember her voice of truth, her courage and lack of fear......Today, I got to thank her for being a light in my journey. I praise God for her and the courage she dared to show in my life.

And if I can quote her as she again encouraged me today and reminded me of the new creations we are and our need for daily renewal...our daily bread.....she so eloquently said........"We all have a floater, that one piece that just won't flush"  (I remember why I loved this gal so much.) Thank God that he flushes it away and makes us new!!

So, my friends, don't forget to flush daily. 

Remember we have the Master Plumber waiting to renew us and make us new!

You can check out Shannon's career and follow what she's up to these days. God continues to use her in the church, in her family, through her creativity and her gift of entertainment and more energy than I will ever have!

You can like her on Facebook
Shade 'N Shannon

The Tempo Players "Little Shop of Horrors Nov. 1998
Shannon~Allyssa~Mia

His Call~His Will

"God called Jesus Christ to what seemed absolute disaster. And Jesus Christ called His disciples to see Him put to death, leading every one of them to the place where their hearts were broken." ~Oswald Chambers

I don't know about you, but for what I have been going through this week, the conversations I have been having with my husband alongside my prayers and cries to Jesus, this hit the nail on the head.

God , through His son Christ Jesus, by the power of His Holy Spirit has again met me where I am at, reminded me of His grace, His perfect love and sacrifice and has once again encouraged me to abide in Him, to trust Him and to be all about His good and perfect will.

I am always amazed how He brings the right Bible passage at the right time. It's like He wrote it all down just for me...oh wait, He did! And He did it for you too, just for YOU!!

May you be encouraged by God's Word in Luke 18:31-34 today. And may the devotion by Oswald Chambers add a bit of insight for you as well. God Bless!~ Mia  

Luke 18:31-34 

Jesus Predicts His Death a Third Time

31 Jesus took the Twelve aside and told them, “We are going up to Jerusalem, and everything that is written by the prophets about the Son of Man will be fulfilled. 32 He will be delivered over to the Gentiles. They will mock him, insult him and spit on him; 33 they will flog him and kill him. On the third day he will rise again. 34 The disciples did not understand any of this. Its meaning was hidden from them, and they did not know what he was talking about.

The Bewildering Call of God~Oswald Chambers

08

05

2013

’. . . and all things that are written by the prophets concerning the Son of Man will be accomplished.’ . . . But they understood none of these things . . . —Luke 18:31, 34

God called Jesus Christ to what seemed absolute disaster. And Jesus Christ called His disciples to see Him put to death, leading every one of them to the place where their hearts were broken. His life was an absolute failure from every standpoint except God’s. But what seemed to be failure from man’s standpoint was a triumph from God’s standpoint, because God’s purpose is never the same as man’s purpose.

This bewildering call of God comes into our lives as well. The call of God can never be understood absolutely or explained externally; it is a call that can only be perceived and understood internally by our true inner-nature. The call of God is like the call of the sea— no one hears it except the person who has the nature of the sea in him. What God calls us to cannot be definitely stated, because His call is simply to be His friend to accomplish His own purposes. Our real test is in truly believing that God knows what He desires. The things that happen do not happen by chance— they happen entirely by the decree of God. God is sovereignly working out His own purposes.

If we are in fellowship and oneness with God and recognize that He is taking us into His purposes, then we will no longer strive to find out what His purposes are. As we grow in the Christian life, it becomes simpler to us, because we are less inclined to say, “I wonder why God allowed this or that?” And we begin to see that the compelling purpose of God lies behind everything in life, and that God is divinely shaping us into oneness with that purpose. A Christian is someone who trusts in the knowledge and the wisdom of God, not in his own abilities. If we have a purpose of our own, it destroys the simplicity and the calm, relaxed pace which should be characteristic of the children of God.

~My Utmost For His Highest