Monday, May 18, 2009

A Concert of Worship

I was hoping to write about what a fantastic concert I had the other night, how wonderful the music was, how amazing the two other musicians that I worked with are and what a blessing it was to have all those people come out and support us and worship with us, because it was all of that and more. But, I find myself here today leveled out emotionally after a roller coaster weekend and just about capable of communicating my heart.

I come to this day, Monday, with a full heart in awe of what God has done, is doing and has yet to do in and through His people. I come off of this weekend filled with the joy and wonder, the hunger and thirst, the fear and love of this amazing God. Even though I was singing in the concert, I came out of the the evening having been ministered to in such an awesome way. Nathan's music, his heart for the Lord and His testimony has the ability to tap into the deepest part of people's hearts and remind me of God's word, His promises and the fact that there is nothing that I can do to earn his love. His love is so great, so deep, so vast beyond all measure and I am amazed that He loves me so.

It is that amazement, that awe, that wonderful knowledge that was felt so deep in my heart that sent this bi-polar servant of the Lord into a plummeting tailspin. It was out of that same grand amazement of His love for me that reminded me that I am so unworthy of it all, so deeply unworthy of His grace and mercy. To the same great extent of His love, so goes the same great extent of my failures and unworthiness.

I guess, only my husband can truly explain what this looks like in me. He is the one who witnesses the irrational thought process, the sadness, the tears, the fear and self unworthiness. I praise God that I have a husband that recognizes when I am under spiritual attack and calls it for what it is and then prays over me, loves me and walks along side me. I love that when we call on His name, He answers. I love that when things are dark, we can go to Him and He will rescue us. I love that my husband can sing to me the words that I sing to others as a prayer to the Lord. I love the fact that when I can't quite get myself to even want to, that the Lord commands my soul to worship Him. I love the fact that I have a husband who reminds me of it all, when I am too blinded by depression to see it.

So here I am today, after going on a three day roller coaster ride, back in a place of praise, worship and admiration of our great God. YES! It was an amazing concert and I can't wait to do it all again. God is so amazing, He thinks I amazing, He thinks we are all amazing as we are covered by the blood of Jesus. I know that I don't deserve it, but His grace and mercy just abound and there's no stopping it. I praise him for it.
"There is nothing I can do
There is nothing that I can do
To earn Your love, it's a gift from Your Son, nothing"
-Nathan Fisher-

1 comment:

  1. Glad that you were climb your way out of the pit of despair. You have more strength than you even know; and are blessed to have Bob by your side.

    God will always raise you up.

    Your concert was awesome.