Last night I had the awesome opportunity to sing one of my original songs at the NID Convention. This convention is held every three years and is a call to all Lutheran Pastors, called teachers and lay representatives of all the Lutheran Churches in Northern Illinois. A little intimidating, yes. . . .Thrilling, yes. . . .Humbling-INDEED!
Honestly, nerves did not hit me until yesterday, the day at hand. During sound check and warming up, my nerves were fine. The service came and we worshipped. I sang my heart out in preparation for what God would have me do. I sang my heart out in honor of Him, to worship Him and worship Him hard. He is so worthy of all that I have in my heart, in my mind and all my strength and so I give it to Him, all of it!
Then came time for me to sing. I walked up to the stage confidently with my Pastor and his daughter. I took my place. I stood there and listened to the gentle strum of the guitar and to the reading of the 23rd Psalm. I was comforted by the words that she read so sweetly. While I stood there listening, I could also hear and feel the not so gentle pounding of my heart, ba-bum. . . Ba-Bum. . . BA-BUM! I wasn't sure if anyone else could hear it. It was so loud. They got me. . . my nerves were at full throttle. "God, this is for You" my heart said. "May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing to you. . . . . " my spirit continued to pray.
My mouth opened and out came the song that I had written so long ago. Out came words of comfort smoothly and effortlessly. Out came God's spirit through His word. "Lord open my lips and my mouth shall declare Your praise!" God is faithful. For His purposes, He is faithful.
I can't even remember how many people came up to me after and shook my hand, told me how they were moved by the song, told me thank you. So many, too many. Too many to think that I had anything to do with it. That is His spirit. So while I stood there thanking people back for their kind words, feeling the glow of knowing that I did a fine, fine job. I couldn't help but be overcome with a great sense of humility.
Under the same umbrella of praise, I felt a great sense of unworthiness. I am humbled by the mere fact that God would place me, Mia, in front of all those people to minister to them. Me, little 'ol me. I will not dismiss the fact that God has blessed me to do His bidding. I accept the gifts He has given. I will not hide them instead, I will use them to glorify His Name and tell of His mighty works. But still, I am amazed and humbled that He chose to use me.
So today, a day after an amazing evening, I walk with my head hanging a little lower, not in shame, but simply resting in the shadow of his glory that shines so bright. I hang my head a little lower today not because I'm sad, but because I am so thankful for what the Lord has done in me. My head hangs low because I am so humbled by a God that loves me so much and died for me while I was still a sinner and so undeserving. I walk today with my head a little lower, my heart much fuller and my eyes fixed on Him.
Thank you Lord for entrusting me with this awesome message.
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